> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://fightingmatters.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # What Jiu-Jitsu Gets Wrong About Masculinity - URL: https://fightingmatters.com/what-jiu-jitsu-gets-wrong-about-masculinity/ - Published: 2025-06-19T12:37:47.000Z - Updated: 2026-10-12T05:17:38.000Z - Description: In this episode of Fighting Matters, Steve Kwan from BJJ Mental Models is joined by Jesse Walker of Rough Hands BJJ, Mike Mahaffey of Old Bastard BJJ, and mental health advocate David Figueroa-Martinez to challenge the outdated definitions of masculinity still thriving in the Jiu-Jitsu world. - Author: Fighting Matters - Tags: Podcast, Video, Masculinity, Mental Health In this episode of Fighting Matters, Steve Kwan from BJJ Mental Models is joined by Jesse Walker of Rough Hands BJJ, Mike Mahaffey of Old Bastard BJJ, and mental health advocate David Figueroa-Martinez to challenge the outdated definitions of masculinity still thriving in the Jiu-Jitsu world. Why are men in Jiu-Jitsu still afraid to talk about emotion? What’s the cost of performative toughness on and off the mats? And how can coaches reshape gym culture to support real growth—for everyone? This isn’t about making BJJ "softer." It’s about making it stronger, by fostering vulnerability, empathy, and honesty in an often hypermasculine sport. ⸻ 👥 Featuring: • Jesse Walker ‪@RoughHandsBJJ‬ • Mike Mahaffey ‪@OldBastardBJJ‬ • David Figueroa-Martinez ‪@dfm.2099‬ • Steve Kwan ‪@bjjmentalmodels‬ ⸻ 🧠 Topics We Cover: • Why emotional repression hurts male athletes • The damage done by “fake toughness” in Jiu-Jitsu • Why coaching is about more than just technique • How to build mentally healthy gym culture • The double standard for male vs female emotion • Why acknowledging weakness is a sign of strength ⸻ 📖 Chapters: [00:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&ref=fightingmatters.com) Introduction and Guest Introduction [02:58](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=178s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Exploring Men's Mental Health [05:59](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=359s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Emotional Intelligence in Men [08:49](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=529s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Generational Perspectives on Emotions [11:53](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=713s&ref=fightingmatters.com) The Impact of Media on Masculinity [14:44](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=884s&ref=fightingmatters.com) The Role of Vulnerability in Leadership [17:35](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=1055s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Navigating Grief and Loss [20:29](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=1229s&ref=fightingmatters.com) The Dichotomy of Progress and Pushback [23:30](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=1410s&ref=fightingmatters.com) The Importance of Authenticity in Coaching [37:28](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=2248s&ref=fightingmatters.com) The Performative Coach [38:55](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=2335s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Vulnerability in Coaching [39:25](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=2365s&ref=fightingmatters.com) The Evolving Stigma of Mental Health [40:39](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=2439s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Public Figures and Mental Health [41:38](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=2498s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Emotional Vulnerability in Leadership [43:41](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=2621s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Relatability in Leadership [45:30](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=2730s&ref=fightingmatters.com) The Mask of Professionalism [47:47](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=2867s&ref=fightingmatters.com) The Role of Jiu-Jitsu in Mental Health [49:03](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=2943s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Emotional Intelligence and Anger [51:15](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=3075s&ref=fightingmatters.com) The Dangers of Anger [53:21](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=3201s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Generational Challenges [56:35](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=3395s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Cultural Backlash and Representation [58:03](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=3483s&ref=fightingmatters.com) The Impact of Social Media [01:00:55](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=3655s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Cyberbullying and Youth Challenges [01:03:41](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=3821s&ref=fightingmatters.com) The Role of Jiu-Jitsu Coaches [01:05:17](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=3917s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Authenticity in Coaching [01:07:22](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=4042s&ref=fightingmatters.com) The True Essence of Coaching [01:09:15](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=4155s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Redefining Success in Coaching [01:11:01](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDXrJA0Smg&t=4261s&ref=fightingmatters.com) Closing Thoughts on Authenticity